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Who’da thunk it?

Apparently Anders Breivik is a nut. Yeah, it comes as a total surprise to me too.

The attitude alone should be worth an extra couple of years – UPDATED

Norman Stanley Fletcher, you have pleaded guilty to the charges brought by this court, and it is now my duty to pass sentence. You are an habitual criminal who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard, presumably accepting imprisonment in the same casual manner. We therefore feel constrained to commit you to the maximum term allowed for these offences: you will go to prison for five years.

From the titles of Porridge

Of course that was from both fiction and another time. These days an habitual criminal can look forward to having to write a letter, and even though that’s likely to be a tortuous exercise with many products of the British educamakayshun system at least one burglar has treated it with the contempt it deserves and not even taken the trouble to disguise his equal contempt for his victims.

Now on one or two levels he’s actually doing everyone a favour. You can’t argue with the advice of a professional thieving little bastard as far as things like curtains and open windows go, and since we can expect his attitude towards this so called punishment – apparently described as the most rigorous form of non-custodial sentence for young criminals, which I guess means there’s no help with the spelling and punctuation – to be shared by many who do take the trouble to hide it and go away smirking to themselves this guy’s open display of contempt tells us what a pointless waste of fucking time it is for someone like him. It’s probably not intentional but in effect his twisted form of honesty is a kind of public service, so he probably deserves some kind of thank you.

I’d suggest a few years bed, board and possible buggery in HMP Slade.

UPDATE – Same with more serious crimes if the Ambush Predator’s latest post is any indication.

“Mr Hussini was punched by two of them, who then held him back while the defendant leant forward and stabbed him in the stomach.”

Yes, you heard that right – they held him while this little savage stabbed him in the stomach.Is that not attempted murder?

The boy handed himself in to police the following day and pleaded guilty in court to wounding with intent and possessing an offensive weapon.

Sentencing the youngster to a two-year detention and training order, Judge Hamilton said: “But for the fact that there was a surgeon living nearby, the man you stabbed would have died.”

A two-year detention and training order. For stabbing someone in the stomach…

This country is doomed.

This Private Frasier-itis I’ve come down with seems to be catching, but perhaps we’re being unfair. I suppose it’s not attempted murder if someone is only slightly stabbed. /sarc

Offered almost without comment


Out on the street, Grandad, you don’t need this place anymore – UPDATED

In case you haven’t heard about this… well, they call themselves a charity but since what they’re suggesting doesn’t seem too charitable I’ll just call them this bloody Intergenerational Foundation mob, and their idea of ‘encouraging’ old folks to sell up and move to smaller houses I’ll direct you to the Snowolf, Longrider and Bucko the Moose, who all cover everything I could possibly say about it and much more besides. All I’ll add is that if the name ‘Intergen Foundation’ came up in a movie you’d probably assume it was an evil sci-fi corporation. How close that is to reality is probably down to how you see retired homeowners.

UPDATE – despite the strong waft of fake charity emanating from this bunch I see that they’re a new charity (like the world was fucking short of ’em) and so there are no accounts to look at yet. But it’ll be very interesting to see what proportion of their income comes from the public sector when they do produce accounts, very interesting indeed.

Last of the expenses scandal?

So Margaret Moran has been charged over her expenses as an MP, and with 21 counts it sounds as if they’ve found enough mud to throw that some is likely to stick (plus of course the CPS policy is not to throw any mud at all unless the odds of stickicity is better than 50:50).

Charges relate to 15 charges of false accounting, contrary to the Theft Act 1968.
“It is alleged that she claimed expenses for the furnishing and improvement of main residences between November 2004 and August 2008 through a scheme intended for the maintenance of second homes or offices,” the DPP said.
She also faces six charges of forgery, where it is alleged that she submitted forged invoices.

And I think she’ll have a hard time persuading anyone on the jury that the house in Southampton was needed for staying over in London or had anything to do with work in her constituency in Luton.

Of 10 files of evidence handed to prosecutors, seven cases have resulted in charges.
“There are no longer any cases to be considered by the panel,” Mr Starmer said.

That this has taken more than two years to reach court, and that while only seven out of all those hundreds of iffy looking claims resulted in charges seems low the batting average of convictions has been high, may suggest that this is an occasion where the time has been taken to painstakingly build evidence and make a really strong case – as opposed to nicking someone on the strength of a fingerprint on something they’d have been expected to handle and then having to admit that actually that’s not evidence that they ever did a damned thing. Can someone explain that one to me? Why a possible murder case results in a relatively quick arrest followed by an embarrassing climbdown while a theft case which is arguably just as high profile is built up over months and then year before being brought to trial. Just wondering.

“Margaret Moran now stands charged with criminal offences and has the right to a fair trial. It is extremely important that nothing should be reported which could prejudice her trial.”

While I wouldn’t want to put money on being cleared that’s still true – there’s no doubt in my mind that she’s a nest-feathering, self interested, venal trougher, but she mightn’t be a criminally nest-feathering, self interested, venal trougher. But again I wonder if Rebecca Leighton might have appreciated a similar statement.

So the only question left in my mind, other than how many got away with it of course, is whether this really is the last of the expenses scandal. Or whether, since IPSA seems like a paper tiger and new parliament had barely got in the building before they were all complaining about scrutiny, we’ll be doing all this again in a few years. Personally I don’t believe that British politicians as a class learned their lesson and I’d be astonished if there aren’t some lining their pockets right now.

End of Gaddafi?

Click for link

We’ve been somewhere near here once already, of course. Remember those rumours that he’d already done a runner to Venezuela where he was doing the mad authoritarian dictator equivalent of kipping on Hugo Chavez’s sofa? Still, it’s hard to argue that he’s not in a bit of trouble what with rebels being able to take at least parts of Tripoli without much of a fight. Makes me think that even after twenty-five years this old Robin Williams routine is still appropriate.

The only thing that bothers me is that as with the other ‘Arab Spring’ uprisings the important question is what happens next. The old Tunisian and Egyptian regimes fell just over six months ago, and while neither has become the theocracy that some feared might fill a power vacuum it doesn’t seem like it’s become what ordinary people, fed up with oppression, were likely hoping for. At least not yet. They’re probably an improvement but I think we’re still at a wait-and-see stage, and equally I don’t think Gadaffi going, either into exile or into the next world, will be any great loss but let’s see who or what replaces him before we join in the cheering.

The (inevitable) riot posts #2

The beginning of this video is heart breaking – a small business owner who’s done nothing wrong having to look around at the destruction of her stock. The end of the video just boiled my piss – just listen to the stupid, selfish bitch.

Until they’ve burnt down and robbed everything, they’re not going to stop. This has just started, this is just proving to the police, this is minor stuff, this is just showing what they can do. And people with guns are going to come out next, start killing people to show the police that we’re not standing for this.”

What the fuck are you proving to the police by burning and stealing? What the fuck kind of protest is it that involves destroying other people’s property and committing murder?


Further thoughts on Anders Behring Breivik

NORWEGIAN mass killer Anders Behring Breivik claims he is part of a network of up to 80 ”solo martyr cells” of people wanting to overthrow Western governments that tolerate Islam.

Firstly I’m willing to bet that this boast of dozens more just like him is a complete fantasy, so-called links to the English Defence League notwithstanding. They may share some common opinions, though I very much doubt that shooting unarmed innocents because they don’t share your politics is one of them. So this network of solo martyr cells is probably at best some people he’s met who he’s convinced himself will do something similar once he’d got the ball rolling, and in all likelihood those people are all sitting aghast at the thought that they’d once been in a room with someone who’d become a mass murderer. In short these cells almost certainly don’t exist outside of Breivik’s own head, though you can expect that many police forces will be looking very hard to be sure and many politicians will be looking at this as an opportunity for a bit of a crackdown on the EDL and others who share any of Breivik’s opinions. The worry there is that in 1,500 pages of writing, some of which has apparently been lifted from other sources (including the Unabomber, FFS – another complete fucknuts), there might be things he’s said that I agree with (or not – I honestly don’t know since I haven’t read a single word), and I’m damn sure I’m not I’m not a cell. I’ve agreed with parts of Labour and Conservative manifestos and not voted for either because I disagreed with enough of both – a few thoughts in common does not a supporter make and more than agreeing with the sixth commandment makes one a Christian.

The other thought about Breivik (or is it Berhring Breivik? Anyone know?) is that with all this background about him coming out – mention of a privileged upbringing and being a mollycoddled mother’s boy being just two that headline links that I didn’t click – there’s one missing and which I suspect will stay missing. We’re not hearing anything from the ex-girlfriends, and I’m not holding my breath since a bloke who craves what might be called ‘the tactical look’ and likes to pose with a rifle with all sorts of torches and accessories and a bayonet attached probably didn’t have one.

Is this Murdoch’s "Gerald Ratner moment"?

Er, no. He may have had to shut down the News of the Screws (though as pointed out here that just means a lot of P45s to people who had absolutely nothing to do with the phone illegal-but-really-not-hacking scandal) in much the same way as Ratner’s infamous ‘crap’ gag made his own store’s name so toxic that they all had to close, Gerald Ratner himself had to go and the remainder of the group had to rebrand itself. And there’s the reason why it’s not quite a Ratner moment – that was all that happened. Nobody at Ratner’s broke the law, nobody was arrested – which is unlikely to be the case this time – and the person in charge and responsible for dropping the whole company into the mess – different people in this case, the same individual at Ratner’s – took the responsibility for it. I don’t think it dragged on for eight years either.

Not only that but Ratner was in fact being honest, though perhaps to a foolish extent. He was just saying that if someone wanted something cheap and tatty with gold plating a handful of atoms thick then he was happy to sell it. He didn’t have people roaming the streets surreptitiously picking pockets and leaving hilariously fragile jewellery in place of what was taken, he just sold really cheap stuff to people who wanted really cheap stuff but didn’t want to be reminded that it was really cheap for a reason. That’s not in the same league as prying into the voicemail messages of a murdered teenager and screwing up the police investigation by deleting them and making it look like she’s still alive.

Motherfucker, it ain’t even the same sport.

In fact all that the NotW scandal has in common with what happened to Ratner’s all those years ago was that a well known name is being shut down, a bunch of people who weren’t at fault are going to lose their jobs, and it’s all because the gutter press wanted a juicy story.* Oh, and also because there’s still a very strong market demand for crap and the today’s gutter press is just as happy to oblige.

* I’m not certain but I seem to recall that it was one of the redtops that broke the Ratner story.

There goes the neighbourhood

Oh, Christ, who let him in?

Click for link… if you honestly believe I’d make this shit up 

Tony Blair, former British Prime Minister (1997-2007), makes his first speaking appearance in Australasia since leaving office, sharing his unique insights and experiences in leadership, negotiation and innovation.
Tony Blair, the politician who defines our times is one of the most engaging, respected and in demand speakers of his generation. In addition to his experience in office and his influence on world politics, Mr Blair continues to play a leadership role on issues such as faith and globalization, the Middle East peace process, Africa governance and climate change.

Hmmm. Maybe they’re talking about a different Tony Blair. I was thinking of the one who handed not only the country’s purse strings to a certifiably window-licking, phone-wrecking, spendthrift madman but also the job of PM when he eventually stepped down. The one who threw open Britain’s borders to everyone and anyone who wanted in and taxed his own citizens in order give money to the newcomers, the trigger happy prick who simultaneously committed military personnel to various gunfights around the world – not all of which were easily justified without the assertion that someone had weapons they didn’t really have that couldn’t have reached Britain even if they did exist – while depriving them of the equipment they needed to do what was asked of them effectively. I was thinking of the motherfucker whose ego and hubris led him to describe this last as being the hand of history upon his shoulder. I was thinking of the hypocrite who said that his government would be “purer than pure” and would have “no truck with anything improper” before both allowing parliamentarians to use the expenses system to feed off the taxpayers’ backs and indulging in a little nest feathering himself – exactly how much is a matter of speculation since the expense records for the Tony Blair I’m thinking of were inadvertently shredded.

But clearly the grinning mutation I’m thinking of is not the same as the one coming to speak in Melbourne because he… oh, wait. No, it must be the same one after all because tickets start at one thousand fucking dollars! And what do you get for your thousand bucks?

The evening will comprise of a sit down meal featuring an address by Tony Blair followed by a moderated question and answer session with the audience.

Moderated questions and answers, eh? There’s a shock. I take that to mean that $1,000 doesn’t get you the opportunity to wait politely for your turn to give the bastard a well deserved mouthful of abuse and that the only people speaking to his arseholiness will be those who’ve been carefully selected and screened beforehand. That just leaves the food, which for a grand a plate would have to be phenomenally good or served by Scarlett Johansson in the nude or both.*

Thanks all the same but I think I’ll give it a miss. However, it’d be nice to know if the man’s ghastly wife is in town that day too and what she’ll be wearing. I wouldn’t want to post something in her by accident.

* I suggest Scarlett Johansson partly because I know The Grim Reaper would like the idea and partly because the thought that a handful of people searching for “naked Scarlett Johanson” might come here and find me calling Tony Blair names instead gives me a little chuckle on an otherwise dreary winter morning.

Cobbleition out-Labouring Labour yet again

Click for linky

Oh, here we fucking go again. Another fucking government, another fucking initiative involving another fucking database. I’m getting so fucking dog sick and fucking tired of repeating this, but it really is like Labour never went away, isn’t it?

The Police National Database, which will be launched by ministers next week, will hold the records up to six million apparently innocent people, including every victim of sexual assault and domestic violence.
According to official figures a total of 9.2 million people in the UK have criminal records, which means the new database will hold information about up to six million people who have not committed an offence.

Up to six million innocents? Orly? Because as bad as that sounds, and I think it sounds pretty fucking awful, I suspect it’s actually much worse. Because we’re told that the majority of crime – sometimes 80 or 90 percent – is committed by a hard core of persistent offenders numbering somewhere in the region of 100,000 or so. With me so far? Good.

Now count the fucking zeros.

No, I haven’t missed one, that is one hundred thousand. And 100,000 subtracted from 15 million leaves rather more than six million innocent people on the database. The only way to pad out 100,000 career criminals to 9.2 million plus six million innocents is to add more than 9 million other people who are technically not quite pure as the driven slush. You just know who’s going on there, don’t you. I’ll take a punt on everyone who’s ever been given a police caution for absolutely fucking anything from a pub brawl a dozen years ago to allowing smoking in a pub last week, everyone who’s done a week or two inside for protesting about council tax or TV licensing by refusing to pay up, everyone who’s been convicted of any victimless crime or a purely technical offence and especially everyone who’s ever fallen foul of any of the three thousand plus laws the Cobbelition’s predecessors and partners in weapons grade cunticity, New Labia, brought in during its thirteen years of savagely fucking the country into a ditch.

Advocates of the database claim that it is the nature of police intelligence that the records of people without convictions would be held.

Why? Give me one good fucking reason why. Oh, I can think of convincing reasons – too much effort to remove the non-crims plus the assumption that lying with dogs gets people fleas so there’s the prospect of a few easy collars in the future – but they’re not what I’d call a good reason.

More than 12,000 approved police officers and staff will be able to access the database when it is launched next week.

And with the track record of epic cuntishness and bastardry in modern governments we can expect that to be 24,000 a year from now, not all of whom will be police. In five years I bet there will be more cops and various level state drones able to access the database than there will be career criminals on the fucking thing.

Let me take you back to early last year. Let’s have a little reminder of things some of the key players said in the run up to the election (my bold).

If you care about our liberties, if you want people to be free from the clutches of an overbearing state, and if you want a government with liberal values, vote Conservative.”

Said the dishonourable member for Beaconsfield and Attorney General for England and Wales, Dominic Grieve.

”Whether you’ve been a Lib Dem voter or a Labour voter or a Green voter – if you care about the environment, if you want action to improve your quality of life, if you care about civil liberties, if you care about people power, if you want a clean break from the past – vote Conservative.
“If you have a view that we need to do more on our environment, more on civil liberties, more on quality of life there is now a modern Conservative Party that can get things done.”

And that would be the dishonourable and discharging member for Witney, the Right Wanker David Wliiam Donald Cameron.


Well, you’ve really fucking delivered, haven’t you, you disgraceful pair of hypocritical, deceitful, authoritarian suppurating cunts. Fuck your Cobbleition, fuck its twisted ideas of liberty, and fuck you all. Fuck you deep and hard and right in the lungs.

Obvious bollocks

From Colonel Gaddafi.

“Now the arms depots have been opened and all the Libyan people are being armed,” to fight against Western forces, the veteran leader warned.

All the Libyan people, Colonel? All of them? Including the ones who you were having shot at and bombed because they want you gone? I can’t help feeling that if they were sufficiently well armed to resist attack you might already be tied to a fence post in front of a wall and nobody would be flinging missiles and bombs and Tripoli.

Just saying.

Tick tock

They’re not even waiting for Gaddafi to either get captured or do a runner.

UNABLE to contain the revolt that has overrun most of Libya and shredded support for him abroad, besieged dictator Muammar Gaddafi remained sequestered in his Tripoli compound yesterday as rebel military leaders planned moves to oust him.

With almost no chance of Colonel Gaddafi suppressing the uprising that began on February 17, civilian leaders in Libya’s second city of Benghazi are building an administration that will run the country before national elections can be held.

Can’t be long now. Wonder if he’s picked out a nice wall to stand against yet.

PS – Equatorial Guinea could probably take a lesson from the Libyans here.

THE son of Equatorial Guinea’s dictator commissioned plans to build a super yacht costing $US380 million, nearly three times what the country spends on health and education each year, says a corruption watchdog.

Global Witness has been urging Washington to institute sanctions against Teodorin Obiang, whose extravagant lifestyle includes a $US35 million mansion in Malibu, California, a $US33 million jet and a fleet of luxury cars, while earning a salary of just $US6799 a month as agriculture minister.

The government press office in Equatorial Guinea confirmed that the president’s son had ordered the yacht design, but said he ”then dismissed the idea of buying it”. It said that if the order had gone ahead, he would have bought it with income from private business activities and not ”with funds derived from sources of illegal financing or corruption”.

President Teodoro Obiang, who reportedly is grooming his son to succeed him as president, took power in a bloody 1979 coup.

Some days I feel that far too much of the world is being run by epic bastards. But sometimes I’m cynical and think all of it is being run by epic bastards.

Some people really are weapons grade cunts

Despite liberally sprinkling my posts with Anglo-Saxon on many occasions I try not to put swearwords in post titles too often if I can help it. However, it’s hard to avoid it when I read something like this.

Click pic for link – also at The Telegraph

The needle on my personal misanthropy meter went so sharply to the right of the dial that it broke the stop off, smashed through the side of the case and is now stuck a half inch deep in the wall. What kind of colossal übercunt does that? What kind of fucking parasite sinks that low? Actually using the word ‘parasite’ is a little unfair and I should probably apologise now, just in case I’ve offended any cases of amoebic dysentery that resent the comparison with cunts who take off their own kind in time of natural disaster. They might live in shit and spend much of their time making their victims feeling wretched and miserable, but at least parasitic amoebas don’t sink to doing it to their own kind.

Of course the unspeakable fucking mutations that were responsible almost certainly didn’t know they were looting the home of someone who’d died, that they were stealing the possessions of her grieving family. But they surely would have known that some people had died or at least that it was a strong possibility. The fact that there had been a fucking earthquake can’t have escaped their attention, for Christ’s sake. It’s not a huge mental leap to imagine that when looting damaged and unattended homes you might possibly be only one remove from fucking grave robbing.

Obviously I hope that they’re caught, that the New Zealand police and prosecutors nail them with a completely watertight case, and that the court chooses to impose the most severe sentences that it can to reflect the utter depths of bastardry and cuntishness that is using the damage caused by a fucking earthquake as an opportunity to steal. That’s certainly what ought to happen in a civilised society, but failing that some poetic justice would be appropriate… is it wrong of me to hope that a fucking building falls on them too?


Nutter vs Nutter – UPDATED

Apparently Gaddafi is blaming Osama Bin Laden for causing unrest in Libya, though I have no idea if this means he’s madder than we all thought or if it’s a tactic aimed at trying to get western support (in which case he might be madder than we all thought). But it’s make a great special for a Celebrity Deathmatch comeback.

UPDATE – hanging on but looks like he’s struggling to keep his grip.

In Egypt, President Hosni Mubarak’s first address to his people was defiant. By his second speech, he tried to be conciliatory, to present himself as an elder statesman.
Col Gaddafi did the same, moving from irate father wagging his finger at his disobedient teenage subjects to saying all he ever wanted was to be a loved and respected constitutional monarch with no real power, like our Queen.
Later, there was an even more direct echo: Mr Mubarak told ABC News in the US he was “fed up” with ruling his country and carried on only to stop it falling apart. Col Gaddafi yesterday said he was not “interested” any more but would stay out of patriotism.

If he hasn’t settled on a destination for an indefinite holiday he probably needs to start thinking about his preferences for a wall with a nice view.