There goes the neighbourhood
Oh, Christ, who let him in?
|Click for link… if you honestly believe I’d make this shit up|
Tony Blair, former British Prime Minister (1997-2007), makes his first speaking appearance in Australasia since leaving office, sharing his unique insights and experiences in leadership, negotiation and innovation.
Tony Blair, the politician who defines our times is one of the most engaging, respected and in demand speakers of his generation. In addition to his experience in office and his influence on world politics, Mr Blair continues to play a leadership role on issues such as faith and globalization, the Middle East peace process, Africa governance and climate change.
Hmmm. Maybe they’re talking about a different Tony Blair. I was thinking of the one who handed not only the country’s purse strings to a certifiably window-licking, phone-wrecking, spendthrift madman but also the job of PM when he eventually stepped down. The one who threw open Britain’s borders to everyone and anyone who wanted in and taxed his own citizens in order give money to the newcomers, the trigger happy prick who simultaneously committed military personnel to various gunfights around the world – not all of which were easily justified without the assertion that someone had weapons they didn’t really have that couldn’t have reached Britain even if they did exist – while depriving them of the equipment they needed to do what was asked of them effectively. I was thinking of the motherfucker whose ego and hubris led him to describe this last as being the hand of history upon his shoulder. I was thinking of the hypocrite who said that his government would be “purer than pure” and would have “no truck with anything improper” before both allowing parliamentarians to use the expenses system to feed off the taxpayers’ backs and indulging in a little nest feathering himself – exactly how much is a matter of speculation since the expense records for the Tony Blair I’m thinking of were inadvertently shredded.
But clearly the grinning mutation I’m thinking of is not the same as the one coming to speak in Melbourne because he… oh, wait. No, it must be the same one after all because tickets start at one thousand fucking dollars! And what do you get for your thousand bucks?
The evening will comprise of a sit down meal featuring an address by Tony Blair followed by a moderated question and answer session with the audience.
Moderated questions and answers, eh? There’s a shock. I take that to mean that $1,000 doesn’t get you the opportunity to wait politely for your turn to give the bastard a well deserved mouthful of abuse and that the only people speaking to his arseholiness will be those who’ve been carefully selected and screened beforehand. That just leaves the food, which for a grand a plate would have to be phenomenally good or served by Scarlett Johansson in the nude or both.*
Thanks all the same but I think I’ll give it a miss. However, it’d be nice to know if the man’s ghastly wife is in town that day too and what she’ll be wearing. I wouldn’t want to post something in her by accident.
* I suggest Scarlett Johansson partly because I know The Grim Reaper would like the idea and partly because the thought that a handful of people searching for “naked Scarlett Johanson” might come here and find me calling Tony Blair names instead gives me a little chuckle on an otherwise dreary winter morning.