Bet in haste, repent at leisure
Thank goodness for time limited editing on comments over at the Orphanage. A little over 24 hours ago I said something rash (though perhaps accurate) about James’ favourite footy team heading for a slump and something even more rash about mine being on the top of the ladder later in the day, which was unfortunate as they were outplayed that evening and lost by four goals. Foolish, foolish. I crawled over to the Orphanage to eat some humble pie on that comment and found to my relief that I could no longer edit it, which is probably what Australian Olympic prospect in shotgun double trap (and past gold medallist) Russell Mark would like about now.
The 48-year-old was so confident of Carlton’s superiority on the footy field that he pledged before the match that he’d parade the lime green one-piece bathing suit for men, made famous by Sacha Baron Cohen’s alter ego Borat, to the London Olympics opening ceremony if the Saints somehow romped home. The Blues ended up with the blues, going down 98 to 122 to the Saints.
“I actually did make that statement.
“I still can’t believe they (St Kilda) did it. Anyway, a lot of people would think a mankini might look better than the uniform they’ve nominated for us, so I don’t know if it’s such a bad thing.”
The lime-green mankini would certainly fit in nicely with the traditional Aussie green-and-gold, and would prove aerodynamic for Mark’s lap around the Olympic stadium.
But Mark, who won gold at Atlanta in 1996 and silver in Sydney four years later, believes rule 8.5 of the Australian Olympic Constitution may allow him to nominate a proxy.
“My wife’s in the team, she’ll do it for me,” he said, referring to fellow shooter Lauryn Mark.
Personally I wouldn’t bet on that either. If I was in that position and suggested that to Mrs Exile I think I know what her response would be.
Mike Tancred, a spokesman for the Australian Olympic Committee, said it probably wouldn’t be a good look for Mark’s fellow Australian athletes if the shooter sported a mankini.
“Age is the problem here. Russell is no spring chicken, his days of being a model are long gone, and we don’t think it would be a good look for the team to have Russell in a mankini,” Mr Tancred said.
“Besides, this will be his sixth Olympics and he is a chance to be named as flag bearer. Imagine the flag bearer out in front of our Team in a mankini. And a big butch shooter at that.”
I’ve had the pleasure of once meeting Russell Mark briefly. Seemed like a nice bloke and of course the kind of shot I can only dream of being, but imagining him carrying the flag while wearing a Borat thong… or even, oh dear God, competing in one… Emergency mindbleach right away, please. Make the picture go away. Make it stop.
And this is why I don’t bet on sports.