We’re doooomed

The sign said:
‘Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion.’

‘It seemed to me,’ said Wonko the Sane, ‘that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a packet of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.’

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish – Douglas Adams

Seriously. Our civilisation? Screwed. Rooted. Stuffed. Call it what you like. Doomed. Nothing to do with the encroachment of Islam or, given recent discussion at the Orphanage, gay weddings. Not even zombie apocalypses, though I’d say that in a way that’s getting warm. No, I think the end is coming from within, and the evidence I have for this is to be found on a bag of cat food.

Thanks, Purina, I nearly had a bowlful for breakfast,
you patronising pricks

Not unlike Wonko it seems to me that any society that has so far lost its head as to need to explain that a bag marked ‘Supercoat’ under a near life size picture of a cat’s face, and almost certainly bought at a pet store or in the pet food aisle of the supermarket, contains pet food is not a society in which I have much optimism. When the day comes when saucepans are manufactured with ‘Use other way up’ stamped on the bottom it’ll be time to head to the hills via a gun store or two and telling your loved ones not to look back at the city.

Posted on May 14, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Mick Anderson

    I seem to remember a tale of a babyfood company having trouble with their African market. They reasoned that there were so many languages and dialects that they would simply put a picture of a baby on the jar.

    Unfortunately the African approach to the same problem was to put a picture of the contents on the container, so they assumed that the contents was pureed baby, which they didn’t really fancy.

    Probably an apocryphal tale, but are you quite sure that you’re not forcing your cat into cannibalism? Surely “Pet food only” is an ambiguous statement.. Dog food might actually be intended for the Korean market….

    • Yes, I’ve heard that story and also wondered if it’s true or urban myth. Just to be on the safe side I have checked the other side of the pack and it’s got chicken in it. 😉

  2. parliamentofwhores

    It could be paint. Dulux had a product called extracoat with a dog on the tin.

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