Things I still don’t get about Australia – No. 36

Why does Australia have so many short women? I’m not talking about little people or whatever’s this year’s politically correct term for dwarfs. I’m just talking about normal women who are, well, shortarses. Everyone knows about Kylie Minogue and that when she was the Green Fairy in Moulin Rouge they didn’t need much in the way of special effects apart from a slightly larger than standard bottle of absinthe for her to stand next to, and of course it’s no surprise that sister Dannii isn’t much taller. Sticking with the soap actresses/singers just because they’re well known we have the only marginally taller Natalie Imbruglia at 5’3″, and closer to home my beloved Mrs Exile is… well, taller than Kylie (but probably so’s at least one of the cats). Let’s just say that she’s in the same vicinity as Natalie Imbruglia and that a ½ is involved.

Okay, four women isn’t a huge sample, and obviously you can point to the 5’10” Nicole Kidman and all the amazonian girls who tend to fill the spots on the netball teams, some of whom are taller than me by a few inches, as well as the vast number who are kind of average height. But then I can add a couple of our friends who are also in the 5′ and change area and just walking around town you see loads more.* Queueing in for the supermarket checkout a couple of hours ago we were behind someone who was probably a couple of inches shorter than Mrs Exile, and she wasn’t the first we’d seen. And I don’t mean not the first today, I mean not the first in the supermarket. It makes me wonder if Australia’s decision to go metric back whenever was driven by people thinking 160cm sounds better. Personally I don’t care and will remain a lifelong supporter of the view that wonderful things come in small packages, and not just because I hate sleeping on the sofa but because I really don’t give a rip. I just find it curious, that’s all.

And, via the aforementioned and beloved Mrs Exile, Things I Still Don’t Get About Australia 36½ is why the hell, when Australia seems to have plenty of ladies at both ends of the 5 foot something range, women’s jeans are so hard to find in anything other than a regular leg?


* Small change. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Shit, I may be in trouble for that.

Posted on February 3, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. General Pyston Broak

    “* Small change. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Shit, I may be in trouble for that.”

    You would be if you actually used the word “small” in the sentence you refer to but you didn’t so that’s OK.

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