Not your lack of faith – I’m not Darth Angry and find nothing particularly disturbing about that. No, I’m more disturbed by some of the search terms that have landed people here lately, and also by the fact that I actually looked despite the fact that some of them usually disturb me. And so I bid welcome to whoever it was searching for “monkey fuck you”, “helen gilmore maff”, “monkey giving the finger”, “audrey jr” and “woolworths symbol” among others. I don’t know what you were looking for or whether you’ll find it here, and I have no idea who Helen Gilmore is and whether she had anything to do with the old pre-DEFRA MAFF, but come in all the same, mi casa su casa. To those searching for “dismembered woman on roof Brazil 2009” and “xxx dissection huhe boobs”, look I can be pretty broadminded and occasionally show a dark sense of humour, but it’s not that kind of blog, okay? But on the plus side I was mildly entertained to see that putting “angry bellend” into Google image search doesn’t come up with a picture of yours truly but returns as the top result this image I got from The Telegraph…
… which might be something to do with someone captioning it “A pathetic bellend with an uninspiring career and who deserves to vanish up his own arse with alacrity meets David Hasslehoff.” No idea who might have done that.
And the reason I looked at the keyword search terms now rather than next week? If all those Jizz Loans remarks I made the other day start having an effect I’m not going to want to look again for quite a while.