www.PETA.xxx

Is it just me or does this sound like the worst porn in the universe?*

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, no stranger to attention-grabbing campaigns featuring nude women, plans to launch a pornography website in the name of animal rights.

The non-profit organisation, whose controversial campaigns draw criticism from women’s rights groups, said it hopes to raise awareness of veganism through a mix of pornography and graphic footage of animal suffering.

What the fuck is that going to look like?

DINGDONG

Hi, I’ve come to fix your
washing machine.
    Oh, good. So would you like to
    [meaningful pause] come inside?
Yeah. Hey, is it hot in 
here or is it me?
            Yes, I [meaningful pause] like it that
        way. Would you be more comfortable
 if you took your shirt off?
Well, I will if you will.
Wanna help me? You might
get a bit [meaningful
pause] wet.
             Okay, but first let me stab this rabbit
            in the face and dissect its brains all
over your chest, big boy. 

Squeak, stab, splat, gurgle, squelch, slice, plop

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

SLAM!

Never mind all the jumping up and down about degradation of women – if they’re not being dragged into the porn studio then women who choose to have sex on camera for money is a non-issue as far as I’m concerned. But I do think it suggests that PETA have got more money than they know what to do with because I can’t imagine anybody gave them a loan for this. Seriously, PETA, by mixing porn and images of animal cruelty you’re going to have two problems. First you’ll attract the the most deeply depraved, sick deviant fucks who’ll actually get off on that sort of thing, which sounds rather counter-productive from your perspective. Second, you’ll be responsible for preventing more erections than the combined efforts of every local council planning office on the planet, which doesn’t seem likely to produce much in the way of repeat business. Oh, and if it’s vegan pornography the leather fetishists won’t watch it in the first place.

Really, PETA, you’ve jumped the cruelly caged and ruthlessly exploited shark this time.

* In time that might really fuck up some search results.

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Posted on September 20, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on www.PETA.xxx.

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