Princess Diana had to die…
… because she knew the Truth: that Prince Philip had advanced knowledge of the planned destruction of the World Trade Centre on 9/12 way back in 1997 having learned from Tony Blair that New Labour would have bad news that they’d need Jo Moore to bury in the first half of September 2001*, and so she had to be silenced for good. The plan was nearly ruined anyway when a bunch of colossal fucknuts flew some planes into the buildings before the planes that were supposed to fly into the buildings the very next day, but luckily everybody that Diana had ever spoken to about it were on those flights.
Well, it’s better than accepting that sometimes shit just happens. Next week I’ll be explaining why Oliver Stone and Kevin Costner’s parents had President Kennedy killed so there’d be millions to be made from a movie thirty years later, and also creating an opportunity to have Gary Oldman killed for being a much better actor than Costner and replaced by an impostor from the same organisation that’s been supplying the fake Paul McCartney all these years. That last bit would have given the game away apart from the fact the Gary Oldman impostor they got was also a better actor than Kevin Costner.
Clever bastards, they think of everything.
* Also in March. And August. And January to late Feb. And around Christmas. And a couple of months either side of June. And in 1998, 1999, 2000, 2002 ….. actually most of the time Blair was in power. Christ knows what they needed to bury under the huge distraction of Gordon Brown taking over but I’d guess the Earth was destroyed by a comet and we’re still reeling from the shock of Gordon fucking Brown as PM to have noticed.