I’m fucking dog sick hearing about this bloody wedding

An open letter to the world’s mediocre media:

Despite my long standing republicanish tendencies I don’t harbour any ill will towards William and Kate. Okay, it does annoy me slightly that unless Australia ditches the monarchy he’ll be ‘my’ king one day, but that’s not his fault.* The poor bugger never asked for the job and for all any of us know may turn it down when the time comes. So no, I have nothing against them, but I don’t know them and they don’t know me and it’s vanishingly unlikely that that will ever change, which means I have nothing but indifference towards them either. Sorry if this is entering the flag-waving spirit that seems expected of everybody British born, but I’m just not prepared to jump on the bandwagon and sit here pretending that it’s in any way meaningful to me.

So can the media kindly stop with the endless fucking wedding-a-thon coverage? Please? We all hope they have a nice day for it and that the drunken uncles don’t make complete arses of themselves at the reception, but beyond that some of us really don’t give a rip. It’s becoming so excessive – this is just the most extreme example I know of here in Oz – that even the T-Mobile ‘funny’ wedding advert with the lookalikes just annoyed me. In this digital age every network has a spare channel or two so can you please just put one aside for the wedding and have at least one just doing business as usual. Even the main one would be okay since I realise that so many people addicted to the House of Windsor soap opera really are interested. But other things will happen on April 29th and no doubt some bastard somewhere will take the opportunity to bury any bad news he needs to get out in what is passing for the open. It might be nice if someone was prepared to fucking report it for the benefit of those of us who aren’t busy going ooh-ahhh at footage of the coach and the dress on the TV or sitting lulled into a trance by the tones of whichever Dimbleborg is doing the commentary.

In short, if they don’t re-enact the one from the Vicar of Dibley where Alice and Hugo get married, which would still be utterly irrelevant but funny as all fuck, then I’m not interested.

Many thanks,
An angry and curmudgeonly Exile.

Or the UK does it first. I’ve always wondered what would happen then. Do the Royals have a second favourite Commonwealth country to go to and be king/queen of?

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Posted on April 24, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on I’m fucking dog sick hearing about this bloody wedding.

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