Royal Air Fail

Having never served in the military I’m far from being an expert in such matters, but I’m reasonably sure that it’s considered normal practice for an air force with ground attack capable aircraft to employ aircrew who do actually know how to drop a fucking bomb on someone. This is apparently not the case with the RAF in 2011.

The Ministry of Defence announced last week that RAF Typhoons would drop bombs on Colonel Muammar Gaddafi’s tanks and other ground targets.
But so far this has not happened, because the planes’ pilots are not considered to be properly trained in ground attacks.
In a further embarrassment, laser targeting pods for the Typhoons, which cost £160 million, have been left in packing crates because the RAF has not been able to pay for its pilots to train to use them.

And here I’ve been taking the piss out of Cameramong for his sabre-rattling at Mad Mo early last month with, to mix metaphors, a nearly empty gun cabinet, and it turns out that what’s left in there can’t be used because not enough people know how. Did you know that when you were talking tough, Dave? Did you actually ask the RAF what they could and couldn’t do first? Or did someone at the RAF tell you ‘Bombs? Oh, yeah, sure, we can do bombs’ without checking and let you make a complete tit of yourself? Because committing the UK to action for which it does still have the equipment but lacks the rather important component of trained personnel means that someone has fucked up.

Eat this, Gaddafi! Bombs awa… oh shit, wrong button. *

And remember that with all this scaling back and cost cutting hitting the UK’s ability to defend itself and its citizens, almost the only thing I think it’s worth having a fucking government for in the first place, money wise the country is still chest deep in the shit and continuing to sink. The national debt is, as we all know by now, both eye watering and understated thanks to the Brownian practice – a little reduced by the Cobbleition – of pretending some things don’t count despite still having to pay for them, and since overall expenditure is continuing to rise the deficit isn’t shrinking either. A huge amount of money is being spent, and clearly a fair bit of it has to be going on interest on the mountain of debt Brown ran up as PM and Chancellor, but that’s ‘only’ 47 billion quid or so.** Public spending is £702 billion and rising, and the rise is across most areas of spending (including defence, oddly enough). What the hell are they spending it all on?

Head of Quality & Efficiency Services
Salary: £57,288 – £66,762 pa
Following the realignment of Quality and Commissioning a new service area, Quality and Efficiency, has been created. We are now seeking to appoint an inspiring Head of Service to join the talented senior management team.

Lead Manager Policy and Strategic Partnerships
Salary: £60,192-£75,897 per annum
Part of the Chief Executive’s Office and reporting to the Head of Policy and Performance, you will lead on all corporate policy and strategic partnership issues. This will include:

  • working across the Council and with partners to develop innovative ways of improving outcomes for Surrey residents while reducing overall costs; and
  • maximizing the benefits of the Coalition Government’s approach to local government in Surrey.

Member Insight& Engagement Manager
Salary: £50000 – £60000 per annum
Morgan Hunt are looking for a Member Insight& Engagement Manager for a top government organisation until the end of December 2011.

The successful candidate will have responsibility for the following deliverables and activities:

  • working with the Head of Member Engagement to develop the member engagement strategy and plan
  • developing a deep understanding of key member segments and acting as a champion for their needs, both within the Department and across the organisation
  • Working with the marketing communications team to brief and deliver member engagement content and products
  • Planning and managing targeted communications to key member segments
  • Working with the Insight & Analytics team to deliver the 2011/12 member research programme

Oh yeah, I was forgetting. Well, I’m sure everyone will be happy that the country can still afford these and an Associate Director of Integrated Community Services when it wants someone to empty the bins, a Media & Stakeholder Relations Manager when it wants a nurse or a doctor, a Delivery Assurance Director when it wants a cop or a prison officer, and of course 300 or so town clerks calling themselves CEOs… when it needs someone able to drop a bomb from an aeroplane without missing the fucking ground, much less the target. A great comfort, I’m sure.

Frankly it’s becoming increasingly difficult to decide whether the end of Britain is going to come as a result of being turned into the EU’s second most western district, being invaded as a result of being forced to defend itself with nukes and shotguns and having kept next to nothing in between, or being taken over after all the loans are called in. What we can be sure of is that until Cameramong and his Cobbleition chums sit down and work out what the fucking essentials are and what the UK really cannot afford as a result of their predecessors’ profligacy – QUANGOs and aid to countries wealthy enough for a space program and their own nuclear weapons, for instance – one of those situations seems increasingly likely, though to use the phrase of the late Douglas Adams, it is possible that this has already happened.


* I found this photo of a Typhoon releasing flares on a UK airshows forum. The photographer – and I can’t credit him or her with any name other than their forum ID, GyRob – has posted a number up there and to my eye they’re rather good. If you like images of fast aircraft doing their thing click the photo I used above to be taken there for a look.
** Say it fast enough and it doesn’t seem so bad. But it is though, really it is. It’s not just money they’re going to take from you to pay for their profligacy, it’s Keynesian wealth redistribution the Keynesians don’t like to talk about – taking money from middle and low income earners who are the majority of the tax base and giving it as interest payments to those who are wealthy enough to loan money to governments. Incidentally, the £47 bn spent on interest is nearly as much as is spent on the ability to defend Britain’s borders and citizens.

Posted on April 13, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Royal Air Fail.

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